After my 38-week checkup, which thankfully went well, I stopped by Dr. Peter's (our kid's pediatrician) office. I sat in his office and explained to him the situation with Lukas. The latest being that the doctors has suggested heart valve replacement surgery. Instead of full-blown open heart surgery the doctors suggested the least invasive option where they would have a smaller incision by the breastbone. Even though they made it seem so simple and common, I was terrified that something would go wrong. Lukas was quite the fighter, reassuring me that everything was fine. He'd been through worse and this was just a blip on the radar.
"So you see doctor, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to take the boys and Sophia to see Lukas.....I'm worried that they would be scared seeing their dad like that. I'm terrified seeing him like that and I'm grown! And then we all know that hospitals are full of germs. They're no place for kids" I said trying to rationalize.
After I finished my never ending soliloquy he stared at me, as though studying my face. Nervously I continued, "It would be such an easy decision but Ethan asked me last night about Lukas. He wants to see him. I can't deprive my children of that simple right but I don't want to scare them. Does that make any sense?"
Dr. Peter's nodded, "Like all parents you want the best for your children. You love them and don't want them to experience pain or unhappiness. Lukas is their father, and an active father who is very involved in their lives. Taking them to see him will be reassuring for them, Lukas too. I think he will be uplifted and be in a better state of mind seeing his family. As much as we want, we can't shield our children from the world. Trust me I speak from experience."
"But what if it's too much for them?" I countered.
With a small smile he replies, "Children are more resilient than we give them credit for. All they will see is their dad. They are too young to realize the severity of his condition. I think it would be an positive thing for them and Lukas."
"I still haven't had the nerve to tell our families," I confessed quietly.
"Elisabeth, you're a good mom and wife but you cannot do this on our own. In a couple of weeks you're going to have another baby to take care of. You need all the support you can get. I urge you to tell both of your families."
I shrug, "I know, I was thinking of telling them later today."
He smiles, "Don't worry so much my dear. Let others in and they will lighten the burden you feel. Take the kids to see their dad and don't worry about germs."
I sighed, "Okay....as long as you think it's okay, I'll take them."
"Good. Now listen to me....one day at a time. You have a baby to think of and three kids at home. Try to relax a little."
I chuckle, "I'll do my best but that's a large feat when you're husband has to have heart surgery."